I used to use those words and phrases myself, before I understood their meaning. Now I know better. I used to smile when I was the butt of jokes too. I smiled because I wanted to fit in and be liked, and the others laughed so I laughed too. Now that I understand, I cringe at those memories. I don't laugh at stuff like that anymore.
That's more important today because society has changed. When my dad was a boy it was possible for a nonverbal person to have a life with farm animals and nature, out in the country, and be safe. That's not so true now. What we called "the mountain farm" is now a subdivision outside Chattanooga, TN.
In closing I'd also like to point out that I have never claimed to speak for you, your child, or any other specific individual. My words are my own; grounded in my life experience. The idea that I have a duty to advocate for the breadth of the autism community is not a presumption that I speak for specific individuals. It's simply a recognition that my words may be broadly interpreted as an "autistic voice" and I should try and make those words helpful and not harmful for autistics as a group.